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Some interesting news headlines I thought I might pass along:
Economy Cited as Shark Attacks Decline. The article says this is because cash-strapped vacationers are staying away from the beaches.
Turnpike Ordered to Give Workers Raise. Even though the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority is struggling to stay afloat because the economy is in the toilet, raises are going through. Hey, maybe the Turnpike employees can take their new-found money, head for the beaches and the sharks will feed!
MGH Faulted for Delaying Contagion Alert. Boston’s Massachusetts General Hospital is under fire for waiting four days to report the fact that nine patients and 18 staff on one ward were suffering vomiting, diarrhea and nausea. Wait a minute. You’re telling me that all these people are in a contained area, green with nausea, puking and pooping and projectile everything, and nobody noticed? It had to be reported?
Mice Fall From Ceiling, Overrun Fla. Courthouse. It seems there are so many mice in the Palm Beach County Courthouse, they’re falling from the ceiling, running around courtrooms while proceedings are in progress, and stowing away in handbags. The courthouse facilities manager says he set a “few dozen traps.” A few dozen traps? These are Palm Beach mice. These are rich mice, some of which may be descended from Mar-a-Lago mice or Kennedy mice. Traps aren’t going to do it. They need to get some ghetto cats in there to nail those mice.
5 Arrested in US Sting at Marriott. There was a huge scene in a sixth-floor hallway at Boston’s Marriott Long Wharf as 17 FBI agents were arresting two women on prostitution charges. One woman was rolling around on the floor, screaming and hyperventilating. Apparently, the arrests came after the two women got in a shoving match over who should get the $300 fee for the – ahem – services. Hold on. Seventeen FBI agents to take down two hookers? Your tax dollars hard at work.
And this final tidbit:
Dunkin’ Go-Nuts: Clerk Allegedly Slashes Tires. A Dunkin’ Donuts clerk is accused of slashing all the tires on a customer’s car because the customer complained that it took too long to make a cup of coffee. But wait a minute. Don’t pass judgment yet. The slasher’s – I mean, alleged slasher’s lawyer said the customer used profanity. Oh, well then.
Have a nice day.
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