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After all these years of wanting a MacBook Pro but also hearing about all the reasons why we can’t afford one and how we could use that money for better purposes (like food and new shoes), I’ve finally gotten up the gumption to throw caution to the wind and order one behind my wife’s back.
So here’s the plan: one day soon, I’m going to call in sick to work (only you and I will know I’m faking it), and when my wife steps out the door to take our daughter to school, I’m going to crank up the PC and do a bit of online shopping. Before you know it, and better yet, before she knows it, I’ll be an Apple user, and I’ll kiss this old PC goodbye.
“But wait! Won’t she know something’s up when she sees the credit card bill and it’s maxed out even more than it is now?”
Yes! And that’s why I’m going to use a credit card that she doesn’t know I have. One I use only for emergencies, like buying new computer stuff, or banjos. The bill comes to me, I pay the bill, nobody’s the wiser, and I’m a happy camper!
This is going to be great! I just love those Apple commercials, and to actually have a Mac in my house is going to be a dream come true.
“Hold on there, Bucko! Won’t she know something’s a bit different when she sits down to the PC and notices it’s not a PC anymore? Aren’t the two as different as night and day?”
Aha! You’re right! I best keep the PC where it is and hide the Apple under the bed, or maybe in my sock drawer. That way, I can sneak off to the bedroom, close and lock the door, and play with my new computer to my heart’s content, or until she knocks on the door, wanting to know what I’m doing in there, and then I’ll have to shove it back into the sock drawer. But I’ll still have a Mac! I’ll just have to be sneaky about having it, that’s all.
I’ve always balked at buying a Mac in the past because the price seems so high. You could buy two PCs for the price of one Apple, and that always seemed like a sound argument for not getting one. But I saw one the other day, up close and personal, saw what it could do, and now my heart is set on one, and my heart shall not be denied. No, sir! No denying the heart this time!
“Excuse me, but since FedEx or UPS will be delivering it—to your home—won’t she be a bit suspicious when the truck comes rolling down your driveway? And what happens if you’re not at home when it’s delivered? I can just see her now, standing in the doorway, arms crossed, foot tapping on the floor, waiting for you to open the door and explain what’s in the little box with the apple on the side.”
You know, you’re right! I think I’ll have it delivered to my work. Just put my work’s mailing address on it, in care of me, and then she’ll truly never know about it. That way, I can play with the Mac on break times, or during lunch, or maybe go to work early or stay late, and she’ll have no earthly clue. She won’t see the bill, she won’t see the UPS truck, and she won’t find the Mac hidden in the sock drawer. It’s perfect. I’m going to have it delivered to work!
“So, what about those weekends when your Mac is at work and you’re at home? Isn’t it kind of useless to order a new computer and only get to play with it when there’s very little time to play with it?”
Hmmmm. That’s possible. So how about this: I’ll bring it home and tell my wife that it’s part of a technology-based training program to get us employees used to using Macs because we’re transitioning away from PCs. I’ll tell her it’s not even mine, that I’m just borrowing it for awhile. And if I use big technology-type words, she might not even know what I’m talking about.
Yep! That’s what I’m going to do. Order me a Mac. Start doing all the cool things those other cool Mac users do. And nobody will know but me—and you.
You’ll keep my secret, won’t you?
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