Police Arrest Three in Domestic Dispute
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GLUCK, SC Police took three men into custody last night after receiving a call from a concerned neighbor in the Woodland Grove apartment complex. The neighbor, Mrs. Judith Fitz, reported that there were yells and shrieks and loud crashing sounds coming from the apartment above her. She said it sounded like there were several people in a violent scuffle.

Several officers arrived on the scene at approximately 10:15 p.m. What they found was horrifying.

The apartment—which was the home of four college students, ages 20-22 (names withheld)—was in ruins. Three of the residents were screaming and fighting. They were throwing punches—and one was even throwing furniture. The fighting had gotten so loud that the three didn’t even notice that the police had beaten down the door to their apartment.

The officers had no choice but to use force to separate the three men, who had to be restrained and forced to count to ten before they were calm enough to tell their story.

According to one of the men, the three had ordered a couple of pizzas and settled in for a relaxing night in front of the TV. They took their usual places in their respective chairs around the apartment’s living room, and one of them grabbed the remote control. He then flipped from channel to channel, barely pausing to see what was on.

When the other two had taken all the channel surfing that they could handle, they tackled the first roommate and stole the remote from out of his hands. The second roommate then carefully flipped through the channels until he landed on WWE’s Raw. And there he stopped. The other two roommates, who didn’t appreciate the finer points of professional wrestling, fought to gain control of the remote.

And that’s when the battle began. None of the men could agree on what to watch, and none of them wanted anyone else to be in control of the remote. So, for the next 90 minutes, they fought, using any tactic they could think of to conquer the other two. It was like one violent game of King of the Mountain.

The three were taken into custody and placed in separate cells—and restricted from watching television—until the fourth roommate bailed them out this morning. All charges have been dropped, but the three have been required to remove the television from their apartment for three months and join a local support group. At the end of that time, they’ll be placed on a one-year probationary period and gradually regain full television rights.

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