Tips for Surviving the Season
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TRAVERSE CITY, MI Throughout many parts of the country (especially in chillier regions), people often say that there are only two seasons: winter and Road Construction. And now that the Road Construction season has officially begun, it’s time to begin preparing for those extended stays in your vehicle. Since some people tend to experience fits of violence and anger toward those around them, it may be important to take certain precautionary measures to ensure that no one gets hurt. Too much.

Whether you’re heading out on a cross-country road trip or you’re just going to the grocery store, you could find yourself delayed hours—or even days—by construction crews. So, at this time of the year, it’s critical that you prepare your Road Construction Survival Kit. Your kit should i
  
 
nclude the following staples:
  1. A large cooler containing at least three (3) gallons of water and a case of Red Bull
  2. A coffee maker (with car-ready power adapter) and a package of triple-caffeinated Sumatra blend
  3. A large box of food, including Wheatables, beef jerky, Three Musketeers bars, Fruity Pebbles, and your favorite flavor of Doritos
  4. A camping toilet, discreetly set up in the back seat
  5. Books. We recommend War and Peace. Might as well read it now—you’ve got all the time in the world to spare.
  6. Your entire CD collection—or a fully-loaded MP3 player. Be sure to include a collection of meditation music to keep you centered and at-peace
  7. A portable DVD player and a collection of your favorite movies
  8. An in-car office, including a 3G-enabled laptop and a fully-charged smart phone for surfing and emailing those who are likewise confined
  9. The phone numbers for the Road Construction Hotline—and your psychiatrist
  10. Chinese stress balls
  11. If you happen to be traveling with kids, don’t forget to pack plenty of snacks, juice boxes, wet wipes, video games, Disney movies, coloring books, crayons, earplugs…. On second thought, maybe it’s just best to stay home.
In addition to your survival kit, you may want to keep these suggestions in mind— to keep you occupied during prolonged road trips:
  1. Hungry? Call your favorite pizza place and have them deliver enough pizza for all of your fellow travelers. Don’t forget the breadsticks!
  2. Hook a loudspeaker system to the top of your car and lead the crowd in campfire songs.
  3. Make a game of it: see how many cones you can knock down before some big huge construction guy starts beating on your window.
  4. Get out of your car and socialize with the workers. Better yet, help them out. We’re sure they (and your fellow travelers) would appreciate your help in speeding the process.
  5. Catch up on all of the family gossip. Give your Aunt Gert—the one who could talk for days—a call.
We hope that we’ve provided you with some practical solutions for surviving this stressful time of the year. If, however, you find yourself extremely frustrated by road conditions, don’t worry—the snow will be falling soon enough. Then the construction crews will clear out, leaving you with wide open, ice-covered, pothole-filled roads.

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