Specialist Heals Troubled Computer
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MOOSUP VALLEY, RI Andy Barber tried everything to make his computer work. He tried calling technical support. He tried asking his friends for help. He even tried reading the manual. But nothing worked.

One day, however, when the Blue Screen of Death mysteriously appeared for the sixth time in three hours, Barber once again called his geek friend for assistance. “I may just be crazy,” he told his friend, “but I think the Blue Screen of Death is laughing at me. It’s really starting to scare me.”

Barber’s friend told him that his computer could very well be possessed. “Possessed?” Barber laughed. “Are you serious?”

His friend then suggested that he perform an exorcism. “I have to admit that I was skeptical. I mean, evil spirits in my computer? But the evil laugh that I heard every time my computer crashed really began to make me feel uneasy, and I decided to check it out.”

So Barber checked around and discovered that computer possession has become more and more common over the past few years. There are, he discovered, men who specialize in computer exorcism. He called one of them, who assured him that his computer was demonstrating symptoms of possession. The exorcist then rushed to Barber’s home to perform an emergency exorcism.

“It was strange,” recalls Barber. “All the rituals and stuff. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to leave the room. I heard some terrible noises. Some loud beeping. And then there was this blood-curdling shriek. Then there was silence.”

The exorcist then left, telling Barber to call him if he ever had problems with his computer again. “I can’t believe it!” exclaims a beaming Barber. “It’s been a week, and I haven’t had a single problem. My computer’s so well-behaved now. Subservient, even.”

Computer possession does, in fact, exist. It’s a serious problem that could be afflicting your computer. If you suspect that your computer may be possessed, please call a computer exorcist immediately—before it’s too late.

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