Immortals
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Whenever a studio chooses not to screen a film for critics, it sends a pretty obvious message: We know it’s bad, and we don’t want you to scare away potential customers. When a studio chooses not to screen a film but chooses instead to send out glossy press kits filled with pictures of grand sets and striking costumes, it sends a different message: The movie’s not that great, but look how awesome it looks! And, as it turns out, the implied message that came with Relativity Media’s glossy Immortals press kit was pretty accurate. It’s not a great movie, but it sure is pretty.

Immortals tells the epic story of Theseus (Henry Cavill), a Greek peasant who’s recruited by the gods to lead the battle against power-hungry King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke).

In 1228 B.C., Hyperion and his army make their way through Greece, searching for the legendary Epirus Bow. If they find it, Hyperion will rule over all mankind, unleashing the Titans and ending the reign of the gods. The gods are not allowed to interfere in the ways of mortal man, but Zeus (Luke Evans) has been preparing for this day, disguising himself as an old man (John Hurt) to train young Theseus, believing that he’ll be strong enough to stand up and do what’s right. And after Theseus sees his mother murdered by the king himself, he vows to do everything he can to avenge her death.

Much like Zack Snyder’s 300, Immortals is a grand CGI action spectacle. Director Tarsem Singh makes the film visually stunning—from the massive computer-generated sets to the eerie costumes (complete with horrifying masks) worn by Hyperion’s men.

The action, too, is often breathtaking, with armies of men and gods and Titans clashing against one another in epic fashion. Adrenaline junkies will be thrilled to find that the battles are especially brutal—and generally quite gruesome—with an enormous body count of grisly deaths.

At the same time, though, despite the epic battles, the impressive CGI, and a likeable hero (which bodes well for Cavill’s upcoming role as the new Man of Steel) there’s something about Immortals that’s just, well…laughable. Maybe it’s King Hyperion’s battle helmet, which makes Mickey Rourke look like a vicious bunny rabbit. Maybe it’s the gods, with their silly golden robes and their special weapons that make their enemies’ heads explode on contact. Or maybe it’s Stephen Dorff, whose character speaks in nothing but ridiculous one-liners. Whatever the case, though, it’s almost impossible to take the film seriously.

Immortals is definitely a sight to behold—an impressive exhibition of ancient warriors and Greek mythology. Thanks to the gorgeous CGI, it’s significantly more watchable than 2010’s regrettable Clash of the Titans remake—but the boilerplate story and silly missteps make it little more than a run-of-the-mill mythological thriller.


Blu-ray 3D Review:
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Tarsem Singh’s Immortals is a good-looking movie. So if you’re planning on picking up a copy of the ancient Greek spectacle on Blu-ray, I recommend springing for the 3D edition. Even if you don’t have a 3D TV quite yet, it’ll be worth it later.

The 3D release also includes a copy of the Blu-ray—which comes complete with plenty of extras. In addition to eight deleted scenes, you can also check out an alternate opening (which gives a little more background on the relationship between Theseus and Old Man) and a pair of lengthy alternate endings. Comic fans will also want to take a peek at the five-part graphic novel, Immortals: Gods & Heroes—though it’s pretty tough to read the text on a TV screen (no matter how big it may be).

For a look behind the scenes, you can watch the four-part making-of feature, Caravaggio Meets Fight Club: Tarsem’s Vision, which offers insight into a little bit of everything that went into making the movie: like the effects and technology, the fight choreography, the score, and even Singh’s personal take on mythology.

If you have an interest in mythology (as I do), though, you’ll probably be most interested in It’s No Myth, which takes a quick look at the various themes in Greek mythology, along with an overview of the stories of the Titans, the gods, and the various heroes.

As far as features go, the Blu-ray 3D release of Immortals offers a pretty wide variety. None are extremely in-depth (which could be either a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your interest and attention span), but there’s a little bit of something for any interest. So if you need a little downtime after experiencing the film’s eye-popping 3D effects, take a few minutes to browse through the extras.

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