Planet 51
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Conspiracy theorists and sci-fi fanboys have long speculated about the existence of life on other planets (while the rest of us generally range from curious to skeptical). But what if aliens really did exist—and we were the ones to land on their planet? That’s the clever question posed by the not-so-clever animated adventure, Planet 51.

When American astronaut Captain Charles T. (“Chuck”) Baker (voiced by Dwayne Johnson) lands on a distant planet, he’s under the impression that he’s the first living being to land there. He soon discovers, however, that the planet is populated by little green people, who are blissfully living out their idyllic ‘50s-style lives. When Chuck’s space ship lands in somebody’s back yard, it sets off a massive alien panic. They begin to fear the inevitable alien invasion—or, worse, the dreaded probing.

Terrified by the aliens who seem to be determined to destroy him, Chuck needs to return to his ship before it’s too late. His only hope is Lem (Justin Long), a timid teenager who puts himself in danger to help Chuck out.

The set-up seems like such a smart one: the tables are turned, and now humans are the scary, world-invading “aliens” instead of the little green men. Unfortunately, though, the set-up is the only truly clever thing about Planet 51, an animated film that’s instead loaded with lame jokes and ridiculous characters.

For ages, humans have wondered if there’s intelligent life in space. According to Planet 51, the answer is a resounding no. From dim-witted hippies (who spout off all kinds of ‘60s spoof one-liners like “The times…they are a different.”) to clueless military commanders and idiotic academics, no one on this nameless little planet seems to have the slightest bit of sense—except, perhaps, nerdy teenager Lem.

But that’s not to say that this film somehow discriminates against aliens. No, this is an equal-opportunity mess—because the one human character is just as dense as any of the aliens. Chuck is vain and arrogant and altogether annoying—and, unlike real astronauts, who have to go through years of intense training, he has absolutely no idea how to control his space ship. Honestly, if Chuck had been captured and probed by the clueless aliens, it would have been a welcome conclusion to an irritating story (and an equally irritating character).

It’s really a shame that Planet 51 is such a dim-witted dud—because the concept could have made for a sharp and entertaining kids’ movie. Instead, the weak story rambles on in all kinds of random, pointless directions, the humor falls flat, and the characters are an insult to any alien life forms that may exist—even if they happen to be single-cell organisms.

If aliens ever do attack Earth, I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s because they’re outraged by their dismal representation in this unfortunate otherworldly adventure.

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