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HOLLYWOOD, CA It isn’t exactly breaking news to point out that everyone in Hollywood appears to have become anorexic. Dangerously-thin is in. No one seems to eat anymore.
But there’s a special diet keeping stars so thin. It’s a fabulous new discovery that Hollywood had kept a secret—until now.
The diet couldn’t be easier. Dieters don’t have to eat nothing but vegetables. They don’t have to restrict their meals to pork rinds and Diet Rite. They can eat whatever they want.
They only difference is their utensils. Instead of forks and knives and spoons, dieters eat using only chopsticks. And while it may seem ridiculous, it’s brought impressive results to hundreds of sickly-looking Hollywood celebrities.
“Sure, it may sound silly,” says rising star Rachel Duke, “but just try eating with chopsticks! It’s not easy! Why do you think I only weigh 93 pounds?”
According to dietician Stewart Henderson, dieters typically have such a difficult time getting used to eating with chopsticks that, eventually, they give up. In actuality, they’ve eaten nothing but a few pieces of rice and a bean. But, since they’ve been trying to eat for so long—maybe even hours!—they end up convincing themselves that they’re full. As a result, they end up eating next to nothing.
Since actors and actresses discovered that the Chopstick Diet really does work, restaurants all over Hollywood—from the fanciest steak houses to burger joints—have put away their forks and started placing chopsticks at their tables. And it’s not just in Hollywood anymore, either.
Says Henderson, “Restaurants around the country are gradually beginning to accommodate Chopstick Dieters by making chopsticks available to patrons by request. It won’t be long before you’ll be able to get a pair of chopsticks when you order a Big Mac in Tulsa.”
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