Fearless Young Daredevil Attempts Death-Defying Feat
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LAS VEGAS, NV For several months, the event has been the subject of conversation and speculation around water coolers throughout the world. The name Stuart Hunter has been on every tongue. Women have swooned. Men have been thrown into fits of both jealousy and admiration.

After all, before yesterday, no man had set aside his fear as Hunter did. Men have walked across Niagara Falls with nothing but a tightrope to support them. They’ve jumped motorcycles over rows of burning cars. But not once has anyone attempted the feat that Hunter has dedicated his entire life to accomplishing.

“I’ve wanted to do this since I was just a young boy,” said a jubilant Hunter during a press conference at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas following the event. “My mother always told me I couldn’t do it.”

Yesterday, however, Hunter’s mother celebrated his achievement right along with him. The beaming Mrs. Hunter was in the front row of the spectators, cheering her son on to triumph.

During the press conference, Hunter’s mother, Hazel, looked to her son and said, “Stuart, I know I always told you never to run with scissors, but I’m so proud of you.”

Hunter spent the last 22 years training for this day. He began by standing with scissors. Gradually, he began walking with scissors. He worked his way up to a trot. And even a skip. But never, until yesterday—in front of millions of pay-per-view viewers and a live audience—did he try running with scissors.

And run he did. Hunter sprinted a grand total of 100 meters with the scissors in his hand, cheered on by screaming well-wishers.

To them, Hunter is a hero. He is, after all, the only man to have run with scissors—and lived to tell the story.

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