Royally Speaking - Holiday Edition
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Hello, everybody, and welcome to this year’s holiday edition of Royally Speaking. Dig in to this year’s holiday news. Hopefully, the excitement won’t be too much for you.

Party On

You might remember that in 2010, the Queen nixed the idea of a staff Christmas party in light of the tough economic times. Well, you’ll be thrilled to know she’s throwing a shindig this year. This is a big deal because this is the party where the unwashed masses get to mingle and dance with members of the Royal Family. Word has it that the pregnant Kate, Duchess of Cambridge will be there.

The 2000 guests will sip champagne and nibble on “luxury canapés.” What do you suppose constitutes a “luxury” canapé? It better be something, because the party is costing £100,000. I think this is a lot of money, considering there’s no sit-down dinner, or even a buffet for that matter. A buffet would have been a good idea. It wouldn’t even have to be all-you-can-eat. You could just let everyone through once and shut it down.

Well, whatever. But if you’re going, this is probably one of those times you’ll want to eat something before you go so you’re not hungry the whole night and find yourself foraging in the Royal pantry for some porridge or a cookie. Because I bet you those “luxury” canapés are even smaller than the regular ones. They’re probably a little dab of high-quality quail egg on a cracker. And you don’t want to get looped on the champagne if you go on an empty stomach.

And you know what? The staff members are getting a Royal spiffy gift in honor of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. They’re each getting a trinket box especially made for her Diamond Jubilee. The boxes were crafted by the Royal Collection and feature the ER cipher in the lid with 1952-2012 inside to mark her 60 years on the throne. (This is a huge improvement. The last gifts she gave were made in China.)

By the by, unless you’re part of the Queen’s staff, don’t get your hopes up on getting one of these for yourself, because each box has been numbered to prevent them from being sold online. So if you see one of these on eBay and you buy it, you’re on your own when Scotland Yard comes knocking. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

A Hallmark Moment

Did you get your Christmas card from the Prince of Wales and the lovely Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall? No? Well, I’m sure it’s on its way. If not, here it is. That’s Charles in his Royal Navy admiral's ceremonial day dress uniform, and Camilla in an Anna Valentine coat and dress and a hat by Philip Treacy. What a great picture of the future king and queen.

Gather Round the Tree

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall invited a group of eight children to decorate her Christmas tree. The kids, all with serious illnesses, arrived at Clarence House from Helen & Douglas House in Oxford to decorate the tree, followed by plates of bangers and mash for the youngsters.

I thought that was nice.

I Won’t Be Home for Christmas

Hey, guess what? Prince Harry won’t be home for Christmas. He’s on guard at Camp Bastion in the Helmand province, Afghanistan. It’s been reported that “Harry will be on high alert ensuring the camp is safe from attack, as fellow troops enjoy a Christmas dinner of turkey, potatoes, sprouts, gammon and pork pies that have been specially flown to Afghanistan for them.” Geez, they make it sound as if Harry will be guarding the camp all by himself.

But not to worry. Harry will have a chance to Skype with his family in Sandringham, so all is not lost.

I Will Be Home for Christmas

And speaking of Sandringham, rumor has it that the Duchess of Cambridge is still suffering from severe morning sickness so she’s planning on hanging with her parents in Berkshire, South East England, instead of heading to the royal estate of Sandringham in Norfolk, East England. It seems Kate’s family doesn't want her to be too far from a hospital, so she’s spending Christmas with them. (Well, that’s one way out of holidays with the in-laws.)

William will show up at Sandringham at some point. It’s anyone’s guess whether he will spend Christmas Day with his wife or the in-laws.

Anyhoo, the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh will be at Sandringham, so feel free to drop by with a fruit cake or a luxury canapé or two.

And From This Humble Writer...

Peace, hope, and love this holiday season.

And stay tuned.

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