Ridiculously Skinny Girl ‘Can’t Eat Another Bite’
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PUPOSKY, MN After ingesting approximately four bites of her hamburger and two French fries for dinner last night, Angela Swanson announced that she was “so totally full” and resorted to sipping her Diet Coke.

Swanson, who was dining at Chico’s (Home of the World’s Very Best Deep Fried Liver) on her third date with Nate Walker, just couldn’t possibly eat another fry.

Walker, a football player at the Puposky Community College was dumbfounded. He had already polished off a Triple Monster Burger, fries, and an extra side of tater tots, and he just couldn’t understand what would possess a person to eat so very little. He was tempted to finish off her barely-eaten meal.

Instead, slightly worried about her health—and concerned that she might whither away in front of him—he prodded her to eat more. Besides, he figured it would really impress her if he were caring and sensitive. “C’mon,” he persuaded, “You barely ate anything. And you weigh like 80 pounds. You really should eat more. I mean, you’ll totally, like, pass out or something.”

Rolling her eyes, Swanson insisted that she’d explode if she ate any more food. After all, she wasn’t even really hungry to begin with. And greasy food is so filling.

“Besides,” she added, “I do not weigh 80 pounds. I weigh way more than I should.” She was visibly annoyed. She just looked down and sipped her Diet Coke.

Walker was pretty sure that this meant he couldn’t impress Swanson by buying her candy at the movie theater. And dessert was definitely out. And ice cream later.

Following the date, Walker decided that he couldn’t see Swanson anymore. When his friends asked why, Walker explained to them that Swanson didn’t share an interest in his favorite pastime.

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