The Late Night Samurai Sword Offer and Pers the Poodle
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines features a man who settled the hash of his motherís boyfriend, another man who beat up a guy to show him how wrong he was about a certain German philosopher, a woman who was driven bonkers by her ex-boyfriendís obsession with the classic rock band The Eagles, and the story of Pers the dog who ran away from the circus.

The Case of the Missing Shrimp
Originally reported by United Press International

Florida police said a man who swung a samurai sword and allegedly attacked his motherís boyfriend was upset over a missing can of shrimp.

The Volusia County Sheriff's Office said Jayson Laughman, 34, of Deltona, told deputies he "went into code red and lost his temper" when his mother's boyfriend, Michael Airhart, 52, accused him of taking the shrimp. Laughman allegedly threatened Airhart with a statue, but no blows were exchanged and Airhart went back inside the home.

Police said Airhart returned to his room with Laughman's mother and a few minutes later Laughman started breaking through the bedroom door with a metal samurai sword. Laughman threatened Airhart with the sword, but left the room after the couple talked to him for a few minutes, deputies said. He allegedly soon returned to the room and threw two kitchen knives at Airhart.

Questioned about the odd weapon choices, Laughman said the two kitchen knives came free with the samurai sword.

Rubber Bullets Over Russia
Originally reported by United Press International

An argument over the theories of the 18th century German philosopher Immanuel Kant ended in a man being shot in a grocery store in southern Russia. RIA news agency quoted police in the city of Rostov-on-Don as saying a fight broke out between two men as they argued over Kant.

"In the course of the fight, the suspect took out a pistol firing rubber bullets and fired several shots at his opponent," it said, adding that one man was detained and the victim was taken to hospital. His life was not in danger. Kant lived in Koenigsberg, which is now the Russian city of Kaliningrad, and is a central figure of modern philosophy.

The geography lesson for today: Kant was living in a foolís paradise when he thought he was a German living in Koenigsberg.

On a Corner in Winslow, Arizona Originally reported by United Press International

South Carolina police said a woman allegedly used kitchen knives on her housemate when he wouldnít stop playing music by the classic rock band Eagles. North Charleston police said the 54-year-old woman, whose name was not released, argued with the 64-year-old man early Tuesday because he wouldn't stop playing Eagles tunes, CNN reported Wednesday. Police said the woman armed herself with a kitchen knife and attacked the man, her ex-boyfriend, causing injuries including lacerations to his arm, elbow and hand. Investigators said the man and a friend were able to restrain the woman, but she escaped and picked up another knife, which she used to go another round.

The police report said "all parties involved were intoxicated."

Music critics are everywhere.

Some Like It Hot
Originally reported by United Press International

A Russian circus manager is offering a $14,000.00 reward for the return of a trick-performing poodle who may have been distracted by a female scent.

Viktor Rassadin said Pers the poodle ran away from his trainer with the St. Petersburg-based circus before a performance this week in the city of Cheboksary, RIA Novosti reported Friday.

"He must have sensed a female dog nearby and got to chasing it. He's male, after all," Rassadin said. Rassadin said the circus will seek a replacement for Pers if he is not found by next week.

Sources close to this story (doggie friends) say Pers was burnt out by circus life and has for a change of pace joined an all-girl poodle band.

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