Itís Only a Scratch and Give Me Your Fried Meat Pastries
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines covers a woman who was just trying to get her finances in order, a couple of teens who had a snack attack, an entire country given to throwing stuff down the drain, a woman who forgot to return a rented video cassette, and a guy who was just trying to get to work on time.

Europe on Nothing a Day
Originally reported by United Press International

A 20-month sentence was handed down to a woman who buried her husband on the Welsh farm belonging to their religious sect and continued to collect his benefits after his death.

Rebekah Ladan Sturdey, 56, pleaded guilty to fraud and failing to provide her husband with a lawful burial, Wales Online reported. Investigators said she collected £77,000 (almost $130,000) in disability benefits and other payments over almost five years.

Judge Paul Thomas said he accepted that Sturdey died of natural causes, was cared for by his wife and others on the farm during his last days, and was buried as he wished. But that didnít justify his wife telling authorities that her husband was on an extended trip to Europe.

Mrs. Sturdey explained that she was planning on digging her husband up and giving him a proper burial when she had collected enough benefits to catch up on those pesky cable and Internet bills.

B.B. Guns in the News
Originally reported by United Press International

Police said that two Russian teenagers were arrested and charged for allegedly stealing snacks at gunpoint from a Moscow cafť.

The teens are accused of stealing five fried meat pastries, four bottles of cola, and about $4.50 from the cafeís register after threatening staff with air guns, RIA Novosti reported.

Police said that they caught the suspects, ages 16 and 17, after a two-hour chase throughout Moscow. The suspects face up to 10 years in prison if convicted.

At least they didnít shoot their eyes out.

Check your Downloads
Originally reported by United Press International

A boat motor and a dead cow were among the odd items fished out of sewers, according to the company in charge of Scotlandís sewer system.

Scottish Water said that items found to be responsible for clogging the system included an outboard motor from a boat, a working clothes iron, a cow carcass, a fax machine, a live otter, false teeth, and pairs of underwear, the Scotsman reported.

ďThe waste water drain which runs from your house to the public sewer is usually only about four inches wide, which is less than the diameter of a DVD,Ē said Chris Wallace, director of communications for Scottish Water.

New rule of thumb for Scots: If itís bigger than a DVD, just add it to your hoarding pile.

Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Originally reported by United Press International

South Carolina police arrested a woman accused of not returning a Jennifer Lopez romantic comedy that she rented on VHS.

Kayla Michelle Finley, 27, was charged with failure to return a rented video cassette, the Pickens County Sheriff's Office said.

Finley allegedly rented Monster-in-Law from Dalton Video, which is no longer in business, in 2005 and failed to rerun the VHS within 72 hours, WHNS-TV, Greenville, S.C., reported Friday.

ďFailed to rerun the VHS within 72 hours?Ē Weíre surprised that she was able to sit through it once.

Just Doing His Job
Originally reported by United Press International

Florida police reported that a man who tried to rob a Clearwater store shot himself in the hand with a stun gun but still managed to show up for his shift to work at the same store hours later.

Clearwater police said that a man wearing a ski mask used pepper spray on a worker at the Radio Shack store in Clearwater and attempted to shoot her with a stun gun, but he left without any loot after shooting himself in the hand instead, reported.

Police said that the man, who never spoke during the robbery, showed up for his shift to work at the store about six hours later. Trevor Puskas, 20, allegedly told police that he needed money to pay for his car insurance and cell phone bill.

That darned old work ethic.

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