The News from Chisago County and Points West
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines features a guy who chose the wrong time to fire up his front-end loader, a guy whose pants were giving him fits, a man who is now ready to print in outer space, and a veteran who handled a crisis by himself, thank you very much.

Heavy Equipment Operation
Originally reported by CBS News

A driver was arrested after taking a front-end loader out onto the streets in Chisago County, Minnesota. According to the county sheriff’s office, the driver took the piece of equipment out and was arrested at 1 a.m. on Sunday.

Authorities said the driver believed that it was snowing out. The snow didn’t begin to fall in Minnesota until more than 24 hours later. Officers determined that the driver was indeed intoxicated, and he was subsequently taken into custody.

On their Facebook page, the county sheriff’s office posted this quote: “I don’t always drive my front end loader to Stacy, but when I do, I am probably drunk.”

Outstanding jailhouse quote.

Armed Robbery Charge Dropped
Originally reported by

According to the Seattle Police Department, a man making a finger gun with one hand while holding his pants up with the other didn’t make for a super-effective robber.

According to the police report for the incident, the victim was walking on Third Avenue near Pine Street around 6:40 a.m. when the suspect stepped in front of him. The suspect said, “Give me your wallet or my buddy will beat you up,” but the victim didn’t see anyone else with him, according to the report.

Following the threat, the suspect reportedly made a gun with his thumb and forefinger. The suspect had his other hand in his pocket, but the victim believed he was just using that hand to keep his pants up.

According to the report, the victim walked on by the suspect, who appeared to be drunk or high, without giving him any money.

He only had two hands.

Printing in Outer Space
Originally reported by United Press International

The International Space Station is now home to a 3D printer, after NASA astronaut Barry Wilmore spent most of Monday unpacking and installing the machine.

If the new printer works properly in space, it could help ISS astronauts become more self-sufficient, allowing them to design and print their own tools and gadgets right on board instead of waiting for another resupply cargo ship to be launched from Earth.

“This is a very exciting day for me and the rest of the team. We had to conquer many technical challenges to get the 3D printer to this stage,” Made In Space lead engineer Mike Snyder said in a company press release.

One of the technical challenges not reported was that NASA astronaut Barry Wilmore spent all day Tuesday trying to get someone to answer the help line.

No Haymakers Allowed Here
Originally reported by KXLY.COM

A burglar attempted to break into the wrong Seattle-area home earlier this week, getting a face-full of fists courtesy of the homeowner, an 82nd Airborne veteran.

Andrew Myers says a burglar broke into his home in the middle of the night on Veterans Day, so he upgraded his home security system. The burglar returned to Myers’s home this week, and, when he tried to get into a part of his house where his girlfriend and dog were, Myers confronted the man.

“Once I told him he wasn’t coming in and wasn’t leaving till he talked to the police, he struggled to get away and tried to pull off a huge haymaker on the porch. He ate an uppercut for his troubles,” Myers said.

Myers held the suspect down for about two minutes before police arrived at his home and took the man into custody. The police report states: “assailant attempted an assault to break free. He lost.”

Moral to this story: don’t mess with the 82nd Airborne!

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