The Open Window and Pest Control
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines covers a man who made plans to travel to the next galaxy, a couple of hungry guys who decided to knock over a restaurant, a man who hid in plain sight, and a guy with a car load of pesky insects.

Up on the Roof
Originally reported by Huffington Post

A San Francisco man accused of burglarizing an apartment was acquitted when his attorneys successfully argued that the suspect was actually attempting to board a spaceship that he thought was on its roof.

Public defender Jeff Adachi told the court that Santonio Aviles, 41, was suffering from meth-induced psychosis and believed the end of the world was nigh, CBS San Francisco reports.

Aviles somehow convinced a resident of the building to let him into the complex. Once inside, he climbed onto the fire escape and found an open window that he used to enter an apartment and take a short nap.

When Aviles awoke, he threw an inflatable exercise ball onto the fire escape, figuring he could use it as transportation into the next galaxy. He also stole a backpack from the apartment and loaded it with a passport and earthquake kit, reports.

Sounds like he packed all the right stuff.

Past Suppertime
Originally reported by Huffington Post

Chicago police and prosecutors say that Mario Garcia, 39, and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez, 28, went to the Clifton Grill in West Rogers Park demanding food and telling the owner, “I will kill you; I have a gun with me,’’ the Tribune reports.

Concerned for his customers’ safety, the owner told the men that he was too busy but to come back in an hour—and they did. According to CBS Chicago, when the men showed up a second time, just after midnight, they demanded $100 in addition to food. The owner told the guys that he needed to get his wife’s check book, which bought him enough time to call the police.

The men were charged with one count of attempted aggravated robbery each. Garcia-Hernandez is also charged with possession of a replica firearm.

According to police, the replica used: a squirt gun.

No Funny Business
Originally reported by Huffington Post

Police say that a Washington State robbery suspect told Subway restaurant employees not to “do anything funny” before he stuffed a sack marked “$” with cash and stolen property.

David Lingafelter, 22, was arrested in Olympia when authorities discovered him hiding behind a dumpster near a grocery store.

According to the City of Olympia: The suspect told the employee not to “do anything funny” and reached into his pocket as if he had a weapon. He ordered the employee to open the cash register and put her hands on her head. He took the cash and fled the store, taking a blue shopping cart with him. After calling 911, the employee realized that her phone was also missing.

Police said that money bag was tied to the front of the suspect’s pants.

It Seemed Like Good Advice
Originally reported by My Way

A Long Island man, according to local officials, set his rental car ablaze while trying to kill bedbugs inside the vehicle.

Scott Kemery suffered first- and second-degree burns in the incident outside an Eastport supermarket. Police say the Bridgehampton resident poured alcohol over the insects, then sat in the car and lit a cigarette, setting off the blaze. He fled the vehicle on his own.

Detective Sgt. Edward Fitzgerald told Newsday that someone told Kemery that if he saturated the bedbugs with alcohol, it would kill them.

Bedbug expert known only as “Someone” later stated “I never told him to light up.”

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