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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines concerns a man who took a siesta in a not-quiet location, a guy who chose novel companions for his beer party, a Hollywood star whose every move fascinates herself, and a new daddy’s version of his son’s birth.


Riding the Rails
Originally reported by My Way

Police officials say a man escaped injury after being run over by a freight train while sleeping in the middle of the railroad tracks in an upstate New York town.

Troopers say that 38-year-old Aaron Collins of Stillwater was highly intoxicated when he went to sleep on tracks in the Rensselaer (rehn-suh-LEER’) County town of Schaghticoke (SKA’-tih-kohk). A Pan Am freight train more than a mile long then approached around 10:30 p.m. The conductor spotted Collins on the tracks and stopped the train—but not before the first two engines passed over him.

  
 
Troopers say the engines were separated, and the first engine was moved forward to free Collins, who was uninjured but still drunk. He was taken to an Albany hospital for evaluation.

No word when he’ll be able to return to Schaghticoke (SKA-tih-kohk).


Barn Buddies
Originally reported by My Way

A man was charged with trespassing, public drunkenness, and indecent exposure after he was caught on a neighbor’s Pennsylvania farm in the nude, drinking beer among pigs. Police in Manor Township, Lancaster County, say that 64-year-old Larry Henry told them, “I just like pigs,” when they found him in the hog barn around 10:15 p.m.

Arrest papers show that Henry had been banned from the farm since he got caught trespassing four years ago.

Police say Henry smelled of alcohol and acknowledged drinking a six-pack of beer while hanging out with the hogs.

What’s a six-pack among friends?


The News from Positano
Originally reported by United Press International

Gwyneth Paltrow and her new boyfriend, Brad Falchuk, recently cozied up in Italy. The 42-year-old actress and 44-year-old American Horror Story co-creator packed on the PDA while vacationing in the coastal village of Positano. Falchuk was spotted applying suntan lotion to Paltrow’s backside, and the pair were later seen jumping into the Tyrrhenian Sea. Paltrow has shared several photos from the trip on Instagram since arriving in Rome last week. The actress made her own pasta in the Italian capital, and promised to post the recipe on her lifestyle website, Goop.

Truly breaking news.


Teamwork
Originally reported by My Way

A Houston-area man videotaped his wife giving birth to their 10-pound baby son next to him as he drove through traffic in an unsuccessful effort to reach a birthing center in time.

Jonathan and Lesia Pettijohn were stuck in traffic for more than an hour when her water broke, forcing her to self-deliver their newborn son, Josiah. Jonathan Pettijohn told KHOU-TV in Houston that they didn’t pull over because there was no apparent danger to his wife or the baby.

The roughly four-minute video shows him calmly instructing his wife while she screams, “It’s coming out! It’s coming out!”

After the birth, he says, “We did it! High-five, babe!”

We?

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