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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines concerns a funeral party that got out of hand, a lady who tried to take the bus, a woman who kept her weapons handy, and a group of guys who latched on to what seemed like a good idea at the time.

Happy Trails
Originally reported by My Way News

Local officials say that an argument at a funeral in Connecticut led to a stabbing and an attempted escape in a limousine.

Family members had gathered for a funeral in All Saints Cemetery in North Haven when an argument broke out and one man was stabbed several times. Police say that the suspect tried to flee in the back of a limo but was stopped near the cemetery entrance.

Fifty-four-year-old Robert Ferrie was charged with first-degree assault, reckless endangerment, and breach of peace. He is being held on a $150,000 bond. It’s not clear if he has a lawyer.

The victim was treated at a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries. Police did not disclose the relationship between the victim and the suspect.

Not kissing cousins.

Flying Nunchuks
Originally reported by United Press International

The King County Sheriff’s Office said that Sharnika Joy Armstead, 26, was sleeping on a King County Metro bus when a man boarding the vehicle bumped into her while taking his seat. Armstead allegedly slapped the man in the face, leading him to step off the bus and dial 911. The woman allegedly followed him and brandished what witnesses described as a “stick-like object” from the back of her hooded sweatshirt.

Deputies arrived on the scene and discovered that the object, which Armstead had returned to the back of her shirt, was actually an 18-inch-long sheathed sword.

Armstead recently served a 74-day jail sentence for attacking a store owner and another man with a set of homemade nunchuks (a pair of hardwood sticks joined by a chain or cord and used as a weapon) when she was caught trying to steal shampoo from the store.

The suspect is also facing a first degree robbery charge for an incident at a women’s shelter, where she allegedly punched another woman in the head repeatedly, so she could steal a makeup bag.

The girl doesn’t play nice.

She Can Throw a Punch
Originally reported by My Way News

An Indiana woman credits her training in medieval combat with helping her to corner a home intruder.

The Indianapolis Star reports that 43-year-old Karen Dolley of Indianapolis threw punches until she had the man cornered during the Thursday night break-in. She then kept him subdued with a Japanese sword that she keeps near her bed.

Dolley says that she learned to fight as a teenager in the Society for Creative Anachronism, a group that recreates skills of the Middle Ages. She also skates with roller derby team Naptown Roller Girls.

Police responding to Dolley’s 911 call arrested 30-year-old Jacob Wessel of Greenwood, charging him with residential entry. Police say that he forced open the home’s back door. Police reports say that he was taken to a hospital because he was high on an unknown substance.

Don’t mess with Karen—she’s a Naptown Roller Girl.

The Lure of the Bighorn
Originally reported by My Way News

A hunter asleep in the remote Idaho wilderness woke up when he felt something tugging on his hair. Stephen Vouch, 29, reached behind his head and felt that it was wet. He yelled when he realized that a bear was biting at his head.

“He got a hold of my head, and that’s what woke me up,” said the Boise resident, who was in the rugged area hunting bighorn sheep with friends.

His scream startled the bear, which jumped and hit the tarp above where they were sleeping. The tarp tumbled, entangling the animal and the hunters.

“That’s when my buddy’s gun went off,” Vouch said.

The bear, wounded by a shot from the .45-caliber handgun, scrambled into a nearby tree. Vouch, cut but not seriously injured, shot and killed it. The hunting group patched him up, then rafted downstream before flying out of the remote Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness.

Real guys, of course. Who else would gear up and take off for a place called The Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness?

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