Rallies: Pep and Otherwise
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines concerns some mysterious birds who like to fly over railroad tracks, a man who performed his fire-breathing act once too often, a guy who was given a sobriety test that proved to be too tough for him, and a guy who threw a conniption fit when his pizza delivery was late.


The Crow Murders
Originally reported by Yahoo! News

Dozens of dead birds have been found along railroad tracks in southern Michigan, and wildlife officials are trying to figure out what happened to them.

A Calhoun County official found 57 dead crows along the tracks, Michigan Department of Natural Resources wildlife biologist Tom Cooley told The Associated Press. Two birds were found to have fractures, and may have been struck by a train, Cooley said. Several dozen crows were found dead near tracks in the same general area last month. About half a dozen were looked at and determined to have been killed by a passing train, he said.

People in the know (they watch cable) say Netflix plans to stream a ten-episode series of The Crow Murders that will give the public the chance to skip all of the episodes at the same time.


Not Seasoned Enough Originally reported by WPTV.com

According to Delray Beach Fire Rescue, at least 20 people were injured during a pep rally at Atlantic Community High School.

The school district said the pep rally was organized to get students excited for tests called the Florida Standards Assessments. The district says a seasoned performer intended to blow fire, and an accident occurred.

The performer, Ricky Charles, suffered burns and was transported as a trauma alert to Delray Medical Center, fire rescue said.

Charles, the owner of the Broward County-based Inferno’s Challenge, was in the middle of his fire-breathing act, which he’s done dozens of times before, but this time he accidentally set himself on fire.

Sounds more dangerous than a Trump rally.


Action at Panda Express
Originally reported by Cleveland.com

A Cleveland Heights man, 74, was arrested for operating a vehicle while impaired after he rear-ended another vehicle in the drive thru lane at Panda Express. The driver of the other vehicle said the man accelerated to close the gap between their cars because he was trying to prevent another vehicle from passing between them to leave the parking lot. During sobriety tests, the man refused to recite the alphabet because he said he was unfamiliar with it.

Low information voter.


Hissy Fit
Originally reported by Yahoo! News

Pittsburgh police say a man was so upset that his pizza delivery was late that he went to the restaurant, broke things, and threw objects at the employees.

Fifty-nine-year-old Neil Orr has been charged with aggravated assault, terroristic threats, and other charges in the melee at Italian Village Pizza.

Police say Orr was told his pizza would be delivered in 30 to 45 minutes, and he called to complain when he still didn’t have a pizza after an hour. Orr then went to the shop, threw several unspecified objects at employees, and broke some glass. He was hit in the head by something and started bleeding.

Orr faces a preliminary hearing March 29 and doesn’t have an attorney or a listed phone number.

Or a damn pizza.

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