Local Woman Not as Thin as She Used to Be
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MATTAWOMAN, MD Over a cup of coffee at the Latte Café coffee shop in Mattawoman yesterday, Esther Crandall announced to her neighbor and long-time friend, Marge Timbrook, that her bridge club was discussing last Tuesday night how Sheryl Graham just isn’t as thin as she used to be.

“I remember when Sheryl was just a young girl—and she was so pretty and thin… Not that I’m saying she’s fat or anything. (“Oh no!” agreed Timbrook) I’m just saying that she’s definitely put on some weight.”

Timbrook commented that she had noticed the significant weight gain, too. She noted that it was especially noticeable in Graham’s once-narrow face.

The two women then began to speculate about what, exactly, could have made the young woman gain so much weight.

Crandall lowered her voice a bit—but not enough that everyone at the tables around her couldn’t hear her. “I heard from Julia that Sheryl was going through a lot of stress at her job over at the library—not to mention her father’s bypass surgery. And it turned her to drinking. Julia said she has a real drinking problem, and her parents are thinking about sending her away to rehab.” And with that, Crandall emphatically nodded.

Timbrook added, “I was talking to Louise a while back, and she said that Sheryl’s been going through her lane at the grocery store with Oreos and candy bars and all kinds of fattening foods. ‘I know it’s not right to go talkin’ about somethin’ like that,’ she says, ‘but ya gotta wonder if she’s got some kinda problem.’ Now I don’t know about you, but I think there’s something going on with that girl.”

With that, the two women decided that they had talked long enough about Sheryl, and they chose to move on and start gossiping about someone else. So they started talking about Mr. Fredricks, the butcher, and how he’s raised his prices, and he’s robbing his customers blind.

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