Springtime in America
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines introduces us to a duo who should have stayed home, some people who won’t be flying anytime soon, a politician who needs no introduction, and a woman who made it clear that she’s a tad upset with her boyfriend.

A Hard Day’s Night
Originally reported by United Press International

According to local police, two men in Massachusetts were arrested for drunk driving in the same car, as each man took turns driving and crashing the car.

Erik Leibowitz, 43, and Juan Rodriguez, 46, were both charged with drunk driving after police say they were involved in a series of crashes.

Police first got a 911 call reporting that the two men had driven their sedan onto a sidewalk and struck a sign posted near a series of pubs and restaurants. The pair was then recorded on surveillance cameras pulling the car over and switching seats before they continued to drive and struck a parked car.

The two men briefly pulled over after being spotted by Sgt. Richard Gagnon but then put the car into reverse, striking Ganon’s police cruiser.

That’s what I call teamwork.

Terror in the Sky
Originally reported by CBC News

After two tarantulas were spotted loose in the cabin of an Air Transat flight, passengers screamed and stood on their seats, and flight attendants told people to cover their legs.

The spiders, which reportedly ranged from 10 to 20 centimeters in diameter, were aboard a Montreal-bound flight from Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, on April 18.

The incident was reported to Radio-Canada by a passenger who wished to remain anonymous and confirmed by both the airline and its union. Julie Roberts, vice-president of Air Transat’s flight attendant union, said flight attendants “did what they could to calm people down.”

“They gave first aid to the person who said that a spider climbed his legs,” she said.

Flight attendants also asked passengers to put on their shoes and cover their ankles.

Anonymous sources said that the “first aid” was a double whiskey.

Trump Picks Up Star Diamond Award
Originally reported by Yahoo News

It was almost like a Trump news conference. There was The Donald at his new golf club in the rolling Scottish dunes. He was holding a plaque proclaiming the venue “The Best Golf Course Worldwide.” Trump, the real estate mogul and now the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, wore a hat with his name on it and a massive grin.

The gaudy plaque Trump carried that day in 2013 was a Star Diamond award distributed by the American Academy of Hospitality Sciences—a group that turns out to have extensive ties with Trump.

Joseph Cinque, the academy’s president and CEO, personally presented the award to Trump in Scotland. It was one of many similar honors Cinque has bestowed upon him in the past decade. Cinque, who has been described by the academy as one of Trump’s “dear friends,” is also a convicted felon who reportedly survived a murder attempt, was associated with the infamous mob boss John Gotti, and went on to earn the nicknames “Joey No Socks” and “the Preppy Don.”

Informed sources say “Joey No Socks” is on Trump’s short list for Vice President.

Hell Hath No Fury
Originally reported by United Press International

A Maryland woman told police that she was inspired by a music video when she torched her ex-boyfriend’s new car for allegedly cheating on her.

The Montgomery County Police Department said Hopesy Henriquez, 18, of Clarksburg, was still on the scene at about 3:30 a.m. on May 10 when police and firefighters responded to a report of a car on fire in Germantown.

The responders discovered the gray Chevrolet Malibu engulfed in flames, and Henriquez told an officer that she set fire to the car, which belonged to her ex-boyfriend, as punishment for cheating on her.

“I should have set his house on fire,” WJLA-TV quoted the woman as telling police.

Maybe next time.

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