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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines concerns a daring daylight robbery, some local news reported by alarmed citizens, a guy who fell asleep during a private moment, and wedding guests who were indeed crashers.

No Warning Signs
Originally reported by United Press International

An alleged cell phone thief in a Chinese city found swift justice when he ran right into a police station’s parking lot.

Security camera footage of the incident in Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, shows the man snatching a cell phone out of a woman’s hand on a city sidewalk and fleeing on foot. The man, being closely pursued by the phone’s owner, then flees into a gated parking lot, only to discover that he’d cornered himself in the parking lot of a police station.

Witnesses, including police officers, quickly surrounded the man, who surrendered the phone and was placed under arrest.

Police said the man, who admitted to theft, told officers that he was new to the area and hadn’t realized that he was running toward a police station.

Excuses, excuses.

Police Blotter
Originally reported by Flathead Beacon

9:41 a.m. An injured deer had set up shop in a Somers driveway.
12:41 p.m. A baby hanging out in a camper on Shady Lane called 911. The mom said everything was fine.
12:43 p.m. A man who was kicked out of a Kalispell hotel earlier in the day was now standing across the street yelling that he was going to burn the place down. Management was obviously concerned.
5:06 p.m. A man—possibly intoxicated—was running around in traffic.
5:14 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she was having trouble shooing away a homeless basset hound.
5:54 p.m. A Bigfork man called to report that he had gotten into a fight with his grandfather. Everything was fine now—they were even sitting in the same room—but the reporting party thought the cops should still know it happened.
6:41 p.m. A man who had violated his probation tried to turn himself in at the local Subway.
11:41 p.m. A Hungry Horse woman was concerned that someone else was living in her house. She believes this because she had a dream about it.

Breaking news on the baby hanging out in a camper is that he’s now working on a puzzle book.

New Clothes Advisory
Originally reported by Fresno Bee

A drunken man with a lit cigarette passed out on the toilet in a Spanaway Wal-Mart bathroom and caught his underwear on fire.

Firefighters were dispatched to the store at about 6:30 p.m., after fire alarms went off, Central Pierce spokesman Brian Levings said. They went to the store and found the bathroom filled with smoke.

As the man sat on the toilet, drawers down, he fell asleep, and ash from his cigarette fell between his legs and ignited his underwear, Levings said.

The man slept through all this, Levings added.

“One of our guys actually used a dry chemical extinguisher to put out his pants while they were on him,” Levings said.

That roused the man, who pulled a knife on the firefighters, Levings said.

“Our guys escorted him to the floor and began to tend to his injuries,” he said.

The man had burns to his legs and was taken to the hospital. He was released that night.

Just in time—he was out of cigarettes.

Not Members of the Wedding
Originally reported by Daily Mail

A Brazilian couple whose wedding day was ruined after a hitman walked in and opened fire on guests have told why they decided to go ahead with the ceremony.

Jailton Barbosa, 25, and his 18-year-old bride, Christina, said they were “trying to make the best of a bad deal” after gunman Humberto Ferreira Santos, 52, wounded three people as they were preparing to walk down the aisle earlier this year.

The pair say they do not regret pushing on with their vows but were upset when around half of their guests failed to show up at the wedding party because “so much food was wasted.”

Life, it seems, is just one darned thing after another.

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