It’s Always Good to Call Ahead
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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines covers neighborhood cell phone users who once again had breaking news, a UK politico who reported on his life and hard times, two guys who made their Friday night outstanding, and a guy who was in the market for some cheap coffee.

Police News
Originally reported by Flathead Beacon

6:02 a.m. A man was walking down the road in a bathrobe.
9:04 a.m. A Kalispell man was hallucinating and his girlfriend was knocking stuff over.
12:15 p.m. Some Kalispell kids were spending their Sunday chasing each other around a local park with a baseball bat, much to the dismay of their parents.
2:36 p.m. Kids were partying in Whitefish and a neighbor wanted them to quiet down.
2:45 p.m. A Bigfork man called 911 to let law enforcement know that anything they heard about him was false.
3:10 p.m. Two bikes and a scooter were stolen in Kalispell.
3:24 p.m. A dog was barking in Kalispell.
5:02 p.m. A Kalispell couple got into an argument and one of them left in the middle of it. After thinking about what had happened for about two hours, the husband was starting to feel bad and called police asking for help finding his wife.
5:02 p.m. A Bigfork man called to ask about one of his employees who was recently arrested.
5:51 p.m. A Kalispell teenager accidently called 911. She blamed the 911 hang-up on her little brother.
6:22 p.m. The sale of an old treadmill on Craigslist somehow resulted in threats of physical violence.
6:41 p.m. A Kalispell man said his roommate stole his truck. The vehicle is unique in that it is literally being held together with duct tape.
6:54 p.m. A Kalispell man’s ex showed up unannounced and things quickly went downhill from there.
9:58 p.m. A Coram woman who had previously been eighty-sixed from a Coram bar walked into the establishment and ordered a drink. The bartender refused to serve the woman, who in turn punched the bartender in the face, called her a name, and walked out.


Ukip News
Originally reported by

Breaking news: The real victim of Brexit is apparently Nigel Farage, so please spare a thought for him. The 53-year-old claimed his “obsession” with leaving the European Union had ruined his life. He said he was now single and broke, and also reminded everyone about the time he nearly died in an airplane crash in 2010 when he was the Ukip leader.

“There’s no money in politics, particularly doing it the way I’ve done it—20 years of spending more than you earn,” he told the Daily Mail. “I have big expenses—lots of kids to pay for and things like that.”

This was news to us, but you could say we’ve been lax in keeping up with things across the pond, as we’ve just this very second learned that Ukip of course stands for the United Kingdom Independent Party.

Friday Night Plans
Originally reported by Komo News

Springfield Police Department reports that two Lane County, Oregon, men were arrested following a crash early Friday that sent one person to the hospital.

Police say the driver of the car and his front seat passenger were taking turns pulling the emergency brake before the crash.

Police say the rear passenger was sitting behind the driver, likely saving his life. He was later transported to a hospital with a fractured back and laceration to his head.

The front-seat passenger, a 26-year-old Eugene man, fled, despite orders to stop. A short foot chase ensued, and he was detained without incident, the report said.

The investigation revealed that the driver was impaired, police said.

Whether the rear passenger was also impaired isn’t reported, but these guys were clearly made for each other.

No Free Lunch
Originally reported by Yahoo! News

Western New York Police have charged a man who they say impersonated a police officer in an attempt to get discounted coffee.

WIVB-TV reports the man flashed a fake badge and gun at a Starbucks in Buffalo around 11 p.m. Friday. Police say the man claimed he was a detective and asked for a discount.

Authorities say the man then left Starbucks and tried to get into Spot Coffee after closing time by claiming he was a police officer. He was later arrested.

Police say the man was carrying a BB gun.

Police have charged the 48-year-old Buffalo man with criminal trespassing, criminal impersonation of a police officer, and menacing.

Doesn’t he know he could shoot his eye out?

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