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This edition of Stolen from the Headlines covers a not-quite-standard bank robbery, some local citizens bursting with news, a dust up at a drive thru, and some guys rafting down the river.

Branch Banking
Originally reported by

Police say a 19-year-old Indiana man hired a cab for a bank robbery, and he paid the driver with some of his stolen cash.

Derrick Faria was arrested less than an hour after Thursday’s robbery of a Fifth Third Bank branch in Evansville. The Evansville Courier & Press reports that Faria reportedly passed a teller a note demanding money, but that he didn’t show a weapon.

Faria is being held at the Vanderburgh County Jail on preliminary charges of robbery and possession of drug paraphernalia.

He may not have had a weapon, but at least he remembered his drug paraphernalia.

The Calls Never Stop
Originally reported by Flathead Beacon

2:11 a.m. There was some drama at a local trailer park.
8:09 a.m. A Kalispell resident called 911 to report that “eight different children I raised have been murdered and replaced with eight other children.” The dispatcher noted that not a lot about the conversation made sense.
10:40 a.m. A local man’s sister was causing a scene.
2 p.m. A Kalispell woman whose family member was arrested called the cops to see if they could also incarcerate the relative’s two dogs.
3:10 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she keeps getting angry phone calls from a man promising to “blow up a ship and its crew.” The obviously disgruntled man also made threats to people traveling by helicopter.
3:10 p.m. A horse was running around on Whitefish Stage Road.
3:12 p.m. Three horses were running around Kalispell.

Gunplay at the Drive Thru Originally reported by Wabash Valley News

Terre Haute police responded to a McDonald’s location after reports of shots fired. It happened shortly after 4 a.m. Police discovered a dispute occurred between a group of patrons on foot and another group in a truck at the drive thru.

Witnesses tell police that the man in the truck flashed his gun then shots were exchanged between the two groups. The truck fled northbound on Lafayette Avenue. A single bullet shell was discovered near the restaurant window, but no one at the scene was shot.

Officers located the driver and female passenger on the 2800 block of Washington Street. The driver, identified as 39-year-old Jesse Smith, was found hiding in a crawl space of a residence. The entry way to the crawl space was covered with clothing and other items. The female passenger is identified as 44-year-old Roxanna Smith.

Police believe the shots fired was a result of an ongoing dispute between Jesse Smith and one of the male patrons, who previously dated Roxanna Smith. Police note that Roxanna and Jesse are not married.

Both are held at the Vigo County Jail. Jesse Smith is charged with possession of a handgun by a felon, criminal recklessness, and habitual traffic violator. Roxanna is charged with assisting a criminal.

Informed sources (local fast food patrons) say that Jesse is just another in a long series of Roxanna’s loser boyfriends.

Rolling Down the River
Originally reported by United Press International

Three young guys were caught on camera taking an unusual rafting trip in a giant, inflatable pink flamingo on the Los Angeles River.

Ventura Police said they contacted news organizations on Monday after noting helicopters that appeared to be following something on the river. Police learned the choppers’ attention had been drawn by three young men rafting down the Los Angeles River in a giant inflatable pink flamingo raft and using 2-by-4s as paddles. Police pulled up to the bank of the river and signaled the men to pull their raft over. Officers were seen issuing the men what appeared to be tickets.

Vernon police Lt. Jerry Winegar said the river is a dangerous choice for a rafting trip. “It’s not like other rivers, where there’s a dirt bottom,” he told the Los Angeles Times. “It’s concrete, and it’s slippery.”

The men identified themselves as a group of YouTube pranksters known as the “JoogSquad.” The men confirmed they were also behind a recent incident on the river involving a raft made from inflatable mattresses. “We just thought we’d take this flamingo down the L.A. River and see if we can get to Long Beach,” group member Sam Pepper told KABC-TV. “That was the mission, really.”

Los Angeles has a river?

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