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No matter how many books there are on the topic, no one is really prepared for the changes that occur once they become a parent. And in his open and honest book The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad, comedian Mike Birbiglia discusses his journey through parenthood—with some help from his wife, poet J. Hope Stein.
The story was inspired by an experience at a film festival, where the comedian was asked to speak on the topic of jealousy. His wife, Jen, quickly pointed out that he was jealous of his daughter—and suggested that he should talk about that. And his observations turned into a book about his relationship with his wife and their young daughter. He discusses the reasons why he never wanted children, his fears about becoming parents, the lies they told themselves during the pregnancy, and the unexpected ways that their daughter changed their lives and their relationship forever.
Since Birbiglia’s job is to tell jokes, the stories that he tells here often have touches of humor—but readers might be surprised by how painfully, uncomfortably honest he can be as he opens up about both the good and the bad parts of the process of becoming a parent. This isn’t the story of a guy who always dreamed of being a dad, who was overjoyed when his wife announced that she was pregnant, and who has been living the dream ever since. Parenting is hard—harder than anyone realizes until they bring that first child home from the hospital. And Birbiglia holds nothing back as he talks about his journey through parenthood.
Though everyone’s journey is different, parents will get it. They’ll laugh at those unexpectedly funny moments that we’ve all experienced. And while readers might squirm at some of the more uncomfortable confessions, they’ll also understand—because relationships are difficult and messy, and they get harder and messier when kids are involved.
Mixed in with the author’s stories, meanwhile, are poems written by his wife, often offering a different perspective on the same story. It feels like a strange mix—poetry and stand-up comedy—and, at times, it’s quite jarring. But the poetry only adds to the honesty and emotion of the book.
If you have a young child—or a not-so-young child—you’ll understand the emotional rollercoaster of The New One. It isn’t really the laugh-out-loud read that you might expect from a comic who’s also a parent, and it’s all a little uneven, but it’s a sincere story with a hint of humor that keeps it from getting too deep.
Listen to the review on Shelf Discovery:
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